XVIII
For a few days I've been coming across very touching passages in the Bible. God knows exactly what I need, He doesn't let me stay confused in my actions. He pulls the rope again, He wants me to come closer, to renew the relation with Him. And I can feel it. Reading, especially, 1 Timothy I realise how far I am still from Him. At the same time some verses encourage me not only to become aware of my sins (because some of them might become a routine, I think) but to look for solutions to lead better life again.
Today I think I realised how weak was my faith at the very beginning. Since my first real meeting with God I had wonderful time, everything was going my way. It was so easy to praise the Lord in that situation. I felt special, I felt unique among non-believers and I felt I could handle any difficulty. But I didn't encounter any. It's so simple to be close to God when he fulfills your wishes almost every time you ask Him to, isn't it?
Everyone has his ups and downs but one time I felt like I dropped into a huge hole. And well, if there isn't any device that could haul you up... you can easily guess what happened. I was probably a bit shocked that I suddenly have to get through some hard times. Wasn't it Jesus who used to help me? Oh yes, now is the time for the question: did I ask Him for help or did I want Him to do many things instead of me? What I mean is that maybe I waited for His step too many times and in effect I became a child who waits for having everything done for her. I demanded many things for Him but not from myself. Now, in hard times, He encourages me to re-consider my behaviour and my way to solving problems. He gives me clear clues and I want to learn how to use them. Co-operation. I can't stay with my arms folded, I was given them to make some moves.
I pray that God could help me organise my time, not to avoid any situation in which I could give a bit of Him to any other person. I'm reaching peace in my heart. I pray not to be prone to temptations coming from outside world. Because I know I am.
Today I think I realised how weak was my faith at the very beginning. Since my first real meeting with God I had wonderful time, everything was going my way. It was so easy to praise the Lord in that situation. I felt special, I felt unique among non-believers and I felt I could handle any difficulty. But I didn't encounter any. It's so simple to be close to God when he fulfills your wishes almost every time you ask Him to, isn't it?
Everyone has his ups and downs but one time I felt like I dropped into a huge hole. And well, if there isn't any device that could haul you up... you can easily guess what happened. I was probably a bit shocked that I suddenly have to get through some hard times. Wasn't it Jesus who used to help me? Oh yes, now is the time for the question: did I ask Him for help or did I want Him to do many things instead of me? What I mean is that maybe I waited for His step too many times and in effect I became a child who waits for having everything done for her. I demanded many things for Him but not from myself. Now, in hard times, He encourages me to re-consider my behaviour and my way to solving problems. He gives me clear clues and I want to learn how to use them. Co-operation. I can't stay with my arms folded, I was given them to make some moves.
I pray that God could help me organise my time, not to avoid any situation in which I could give a bit of Him to any other person. I'm reaching peace in my heart. I pray not to be prone to temptations coming from outside world. Because I know I am.
posted by Ala at
11:35 AM
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