XIII

If you believe in God, you do not doubt in His words included in the Holy Bible. You do not question the task of turning the other cheek. Throw away the revenge because it only leads to self-destroying and provides no success. I pray for two of my friends who were caught in the trap of revenge. I can see they just want to show their strengh. “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." (Luke 14:11) I pray they will be filled with the gentleness as a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Again I fear.

The very last place in chosen, without any objections, by those, who are convinced by God's love in their life and they know that even there the loving eye of Jesus will be on them.

There's no excuse for your character. If you say you believe in God, you obey him and you go the path he wants you to go. You can't turn left or right from the path on purpose just to prove somebody else you are better. You're so much more beautiful with the faith in your heart! And so much stronger!
Be humble, be humble, be humble... You've got nothing left to lose.

I pray for courage and patience. Not only for me, but for my family. I can feel a very important decision coming to be made and it may be painful for my family. I start to seek for my church, seek for people who can help me develop my spiritual life. I used to notice that the strengh is born among people who feel the need to be one body – the body of Jesus Christ. I tried to look for it at my “fatherchurch” and I couldn't. I couldn't or I didn't want to. Visiting the baptist church a few times, I'm encouraged to get to know it better. I think the change may occur soon. But still, it's hard to say if I act absolutely fair. It'a hard to link the will of belonging to the new community and my parent's will of me belonging to the church I was baptized in. The question of being baptized also comes to my mind quite often, but let's face it, there's no need to hurry if I want my changes to be clear and understandable for everyone.